All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
