i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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