I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
