Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
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I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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