Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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