He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
there is puke in my bra ... again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
