I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
In America we eat man semen.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
