There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
