the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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