so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
