btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
