non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
