all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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