Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
