just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
