it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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