Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm at about main and main street
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
