at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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