My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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