I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
