just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
