hotel room ftw
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
