can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
