How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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