I'm really into asian looking animals
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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