come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
