I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
