Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
