Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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