So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
