he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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