The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
