is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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