i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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