an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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