Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
