What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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