He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
