Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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