'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
