For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
