I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
