I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
