it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
