There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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