This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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