They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
