i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
As shirtless as possible
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
