he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
