windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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