Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He felt like a one man threesome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
